They say “that’s the way the cookie crumbles”. (‘They’ being people who speak in idioms.)
Apparently it means that ‘that bad things sometimes happen and there is nothing you can do to prevent it, so it is not worth becoming upset about it’.
But I wondered where it comes from. And is it equally bad when any cookie crumbles, or are some worse than others?
So I decided to do an experiment. I took three different cookies and, in controlled conditions, ‘crumbled’ them (using a claw hammer). Well, actually, I tested two of your American cookies – chocolate chip and ginger – and one good old British plain digestive biscuit.
Fig.1 – The three test subjects. L to R, choc chip cookie, ginger cookie, digestive biscuit.
The results
Chocolate chip cookie
The chocolate chip cookie was the first under the hammer. As you can see it exploded violently all over the kitchen of our Manchester office. The cookie splintered into a few shards of brittle biscuit mixture, but most of the volume evaporated into a fine dust. Directly under the impact zone, all that remained was a small compressed mound of compacted crumbs.

Fig. 2 & Fig. 3 – The violent aftermath of the choc chip cookie test.
Ginger cookie
The ginger cookie went next. Again, remnants were dispersed over a large radius around the impact site. However the ginger cookie retained its integrity, with large pieces holding their shape. In figure 5 below you can observe larger crumbs around ground zero, and the strange skin-like artefact left directly under the hammer head. A much cleaner result than the chocolate chip, but still quite theatrically crumbled.
Fig. 4 & Fig. 5 – The even explosion of the ginger cookie.
Digestive biscuit
Last in the test came the plain Digestive biscuit. Physically having a larger dimension, the Digestive was thinner than both cookies tested, and so seemed to gain little advantage. *
An amazing result! The digestive barley flinched, keeping all its component parts inside the test area. Five large chunks of the biscuit remained unmarked and fit for consumption. Only the direct target area sustained real damage, and even the crumbs there constrained themselves to a well-mannered pile.
* The digestive was also observed to have a slightly wetter, denser texture. Good on you.
Fig. 6 & Fig. 7 – The tidy unfussy result of the digestive test.
Conclusions
1.The cliché ‘that’s the way the cookie crumbles’ does seem rather appropriate. Rapidly crumbling cookies is a messy business, requiring a lengthy clean-up operation.
2.We recommend that the cliché be modified, to suggest a scale of impeding badness (so you can more adequately prepare yourself to not get too upset about it):
‘That’s how the ginger cookie crumbles’ to suggest a mildly alarming event.
‘That’s how the chocolate chip cookie crumbles’ for a heinous disaster.
3.If you’re made of sterner stuff, use the phrase ‘that’s how the digestive biscuit crumbles’. Which means that not much will ruffle your feathers, so there’ll be very little to resist getting upset about.
by Glyn